This is a reflection of my experience playing Emile in ‘130,000’. My idea of this teenager has changed drastically since March (see previous post). Emile is a street gangster whose search for respect resulted in the death of young Kwame. The course of the play for Emile is about his journey to gain this respect from his fellow gang members, especially Dwayne. There is a depth to Emile that I could have never touched on at the start of the process. Now, 130, 000 is more about the deterioration of Emile’s guilty conscious and his realization that he will never gain this sought respect; as opposed to him being a vicious young male with no purpose but to cause upset.

Now, in the final scenes of the show, I see him as a broken young man. A teenager who committed a horrific crime who now can’t bear the guilt. In Emile’s final scene, the play takes one final breath when he confirms to the audience that he is in fact guilty,  re-confirming that characters such as Dwayne lead Emile to this heartless attack on Kwame.

‘I ain’t takin any more of this shit from no-one.. you want me Dwayne? I’m ready come get me!.. It was me that killed Kwame not them, their jealous… You don’t wake up every night seeing his face!’ (WAKEUP 2013, p. 56).

 By the end of the play, Emile has lost respect for himself and for others. He deteriorates to the point of helplessness. For me I had little pity for Emile at the start of this process, but now over the course of three months, I began to grow a sense of sympathy towards him. This pity changed the vocal, emotional and physical delivery of those few last lines for me. I was no longer a sadistic gangster who held no conscience. I was a teenage boy crying for help, wanting to receive the respect he sought.

 

Work Cited:

WAKEUP Theatre (2013) 130,000 an adaptation of Fallout by Roy Williams,Lincoln: Lincoln School of Performing Arts.